So lately i have not been getting along with a certain somebody... And right about now i am just over it and over them , because they are really just wasting my time. But without that person , i can not have somethings that i think i need . But with that person in my life i am somewhat miserable , because all i do is cry. I cry because the person is whom i cannot speak of simply because of judgments , that i would regret... So i will not say the name! Although i will say , the person hates my freaking guts , and i am so happy that they do ; because in a couple of months they will not matter , and it will not hurt me anymore. The person has made life hard to deal with , i almost ended what was given to me because of something they did to me. I just didn't care anymore , i had given up and now the 1 year anniversary is coming up... Yay yipppeeeeee i get to remember the day i almost died! Every single day as the day approaches , i get scared-er and scared-er. Like i honestly fear for my life as if the same thing will happen again , if they did it once trust and believe they will do it again. My heart is dropping because i am so scared , wanting to burst out in tears i must look strong ; not for me but of whom is looking for failure. Failure in the mindset to not overcome life and its obstacle of being a victim... I did not get to choose this life , it chose me ! ! !
Can you guys believe it ? i feel like just yesterday it was Easter.. Time is flying by and i have less than 6 months in my household. Then I am going to be out there , with you guys in this place called "life" ! My heart is dropping because i cant catch up with time, i have one goal and one goal only and even that seems a little impossible. And that is to get accepted into a College ! I feel as if i am not asking for much although others may defer... My want is simply a need ! If i don't get accepted into a college my life is O-V-E-R OVER , and i don't think i could handle it. I am trying to do everything that i can to get accepted , but for some colleges i need a higher SAT score and For others I need A higher GPA. So it all depends but I AM DESPERATE , SO DESPERATE I WILL DO ANYTHING IT TAKES... Even if i have to sleep with somebody , (LMAOO I am totally lying that is taking it wayyy to far ). Or at least for me it is! But seriously i am hungry for more , what can i do to have what i need? What will fill my desire for the more of what i am seeking.. I must know , or i can not move on because time is becoming my worst enemy.