People always suggest that I can't feel the way I feel because , what people do for me . But I still feel the way I feel ! Which is depressed, you will buy me flowers and an XL teddy bear and I still will be depressed. And for most people they would be so happy ... But since I'm not always happy about mentally and physical things then I'm UNGRATEFUL !!!
Yet I always have a smile on my face .. But behind closed doors I cry all the time , because to me I'm never going to be good enough ! Even if I wanted to people would still look at me and say she is too fat , too dumb . Even people that Your supposed to trust ! But I honestly don't trust NO ONE .. Because the very person that you ride or die for , will be the very person to lie and manipulate you !
That's why I'm always so sad , I've tried to get help but unfortunately no one or nothing helped . So I just wait and hope that Life becomes easier for me ! Going through everything at such a young age and still getting whipped by Life ... It Can be hard , IT IS HARD ! if I had one word to describe my life I would say LONELY!!!!
Lonely because, I'm with everyone yet I'm still alone . . . . . Realizing that I ask for way too much in Life !