I have been through so much these last couple of months. Im now in college in a small town. I even almost had a family before everything went south. i literally go by a diffrent name and i dont really know who i am. Sometimes i think im losing it ! Like literally losing it... i have so many decisions to make , its like i just want to cry. But who will hold me ? But then again im not really looking for anyone to hold me , i just want to start over. I think i have the oppurtunity that i am looking for to start over. I am so scared, becuase what if i fall back into old habits and become that girl that i am afraid of. My worst night mare ! The girl that cant get her life together, looking for an out when there is no out. Looking for closure from everyone that i think have done me wrong , in what we call the "past". The past has really screwn me over . Its almost too sad , all i do is look back in time. Wondering where i went wrong and what i did wrong. I do not want to worry about my wrong doings in life , i just need a fresh start . Am i asking for too much ? Maybe i am , because i can not control everyones actions and how they think. Im still trying to see if i can work something out with the people that were almost my family . I just want to put the the past in the past if it was negative. i am literally starting over...
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February 2016
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